


Wolf of the Wilds

by kojafras



Category: Six of Crows Series - Leigh Bardugo
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Crooked Kingdom Spoilers, Fix-It, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-27
Updated: 2019-03-27
Packaged: 2019-12-25 06:50:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18256007
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kojafras/pseuds/kojafras
Summary: Nina travels to the Fjerdan wilds searching for both closure and new beginnings.





	Wolf of the Wilds

**Author's Note:**

> Just finished Crooked Kingdom hours ago and I needed to write this for Nina, Matthais and Trassel. I'm still devastated.

Nina wrenched her foot out of yet another snowbank. She shook off the snow from her fur-lined boot, spat a Ravkan curse at the ground for good measure, then stumbled immediately into another bank of snow. This time, she sank down to her knee.

That morning, Nina had walked off the ship – more of a barge – she’d been sharing with Valstoy and Killian, waved them and Roëd a short farewell and promised to be only a few days. She’d met the first two at a bar, of all places, and after a few whispered words and stilted stories, had found a kinship with the strangers. None of them talked much, but Killian had a ship with Fjerdan papers, and that was really the best Nina could hope for. 

She knew, better than anyone, not to trust strangers. It had taken a few weeks of convincing before she and Valstoy had agreed to set sail. Killian was a fisherman, or at least that’s what he’d told her. A cheerful Kaelish man who genuinely seemed to enjoy the frigid Kaelish seas. 

The first few nights after they’d set sail, Nina couldn’t sleep in the small closet she’d claimed. She’d been reminded of another time she’d been in a boat, that time with a big Fjerdan by her side, and felt wetness gathering at the corners of her eyes. She’d dashed them and stomped up to the deck for a bit of clean air. There, she’d found Killian, face red and chest rising and falling rapidly. He hadn’t noticed her at first, but after a few minutes, his breathing changed abruptly and he’d pasted a smile on his face. Killian muttered something about night terrors, then asked Nina what food was best in Ketterdam. That was that.

Valstoy was a bit easier to read. Before they’d agreed to sail together, and were just meeting for drinks every now and then, he’d leaned over while they were waiting for Killian and asked her if she was Grisha. She’d frozen for a moment, deciding which lie to use, when he’d told her, “Don’t worry. I was just wondering.” The next moment, Killian was sauntering in and Valstoy was teasing him about his mussed hair and demanding to know which poor villager he’d seduced this time. 

It wasn’t until a particularly dreadful night when the boat was rocking dangerously on vengeful waves and Killian was up top trying to keep them afloat when Valstoy had explained. In the stores beneath the ship, the two of them nestled between fish, bait, and preserved food, Valstoy had spoken. “It was my sister, my older sister Lyna,” he’d almost had to shout to be heard over the roaring waves. “She was an inferni, like our father. _Drüskelle_ found her when I was fourteen.” Then the boat had given a mighty lurch and they’d both fallen silent, but Nina gripped his arm and didn’t let go.

Their fourth, Roëd, they’d only met recently. Killian preferred to dock in smaller Fjerdan towns. He said the bait was cheaper and the pay for fish was higher, since others rarely came. Nina didn’t believe him but wouldn’t call him out. Valstoy was similarly silent. They’d stayed in that small town for a few days, warming up in an inn. Each morning at breakfast, Nina had locked eyes with a brown-skinned girl with dark hair that gleamed red under the bright lights. On their third day, when they’d headed back to the docks, she was waiting on the deck of the Wanderer, one small bag in hand. 

“I’m coming with you,” She’d declared, in perfect Fjerdan.

Killian shrugged. “Alright, but you’ll have to share rations with Nina.”

“Not a chance!” 

So there they were: a mysterious Kaelish fisherman, two vengeful Ravkans, and a Sulli girl so quiet they’d had to give a nickname because she wouldn’t reveal her own. She didn’t seem to mind Roëd, though. She’d even let a smile slip in the mornings when the three of them would greet her with the name and a tussle of her hair.

They weren’t the Second Army, they weren’t Dregs, but they were the start of something and Nina could feel an itch of anticipation beneath her skin. She’d even started contacting Zoya again, letting her know where she was and that she had plans in the making. 

But first, she needed to do this.

She’d buried Matthias on a sunny, windy day. Genya had helped preserve him before heading back to Os Alta with the other Ravkans. Nina had been alone and had finally had the time and space to feel every ounce of loss as she finally laid her beloved _drüskelle_ to rest. But no amount of tears eased the pain in her chest. She’d felt it the next morning at breakfast and every day since. There was something more to do.

That’s why she was here, in the damned wilds of Fjerda, missing her shipmates and newest friends dearly despite having seen them that same morning. 

_Well_ , she grumbled, _at least it doesn’t hurt as much_. And it was true, she could barely feel her heartache over the sharp sting on her cheeks and the worrying numbness of her feet. She’d bundled herself as tightly as possible, even going so far as to lay on a few extra pelts when Valstoy threw them at her. She doubted they were making a difference now. 

She trudged forward a few more measly steps before throwing down her pack and calling it a night. She wrapped herself in everything she had and tried to get to sleep. She managed a few hours.

Nina started her second day with a grand sweep of her arms to displace all the snow that had piled on her overnight. The _Wanderer_ was only set to dock for three days, so she only had the night and the next morning before she had to head back.

She wandered through the woods, pleased that the sun was visible through the clouds so she could orient herself. She ate her frozen wheat bars stashed in her pack and found some sugary treats, no doubt thrown in by Roëd. She blessed her Sulli friend and ate in silence. 

It was times like these that she missed the others the most. Jesper’s sometimes witty, sometimes stupid comments, Kaz’s stubborness, Inej’s calming silence, Kuwei’s willingness, Wylan’s cleverness, and, more than anything, Matthais’s warmth. She missed them all with a deep ache, but she knew nothing would ever be the same. It was no use missing something that couldn’t be replaced.

The wind picked up. She moved on. 

That night, the stars shone through the bare branches of trees that were larger than any she’d encountered before. She’d lain on her back as seconds, minutes, hours passed and reached for the Fjerdan books and myths she’d studied. She found the constellations and named them. From east to west, she slowly picked her way across the sky and wondered if she couldn’t add another to their ranks. Nina’s eyes grew heavy and she finally slipped into an empty dream as the wind began to pick up.

Nina opened her eyes and saw white.

No, that wasn’t right. It was moving.

She slowly divested herself of the furs and gritted her teeth as she wrestled them out of the wind’s hold. Yesterday had been lovely weather by Fjerdan standards. Today was a nightmare. The sun was obscured by a legion of thick, angry clouds and she could barely see her hand in front of her face. She’d have to pick her way slowly back to the boat, and even then she might not make it until nightfall. She ignored the emptiness in her chest crying for her attention. This was a fool’s errand, and she’d known that since the beginning. If anyone asked, she’d tell them she merely needed to clear her head and then forget this venture ever happened. She took a step and immediately fell forward into the snow. She swore colorfully and imagined the trees shook in terror of the little Grisha girl pushing her way through their midst.

The howling of the wind was her companion as she waddled back to the small seaside village and its dock. It obscured some but not all of the sounds she’d heard yesterday and the day before; a tree wailing in the wind, a stick breaking beneath her ice-encrusted boots. 

Nina heard the large crack of a branch snapping. She looked down. 

It wasn’t her.

Slowly, barely moving, she unsheathed the blade hidden in her boot. Valstoy had caught her sharpening it once but said nothing. She was glad she didn’t have to explain the thin Kerch dagger she kept on her at all times. 

Another crack. She turned slowly to face the direction the noise had come from, and found herself staring into two floating amber eyes. 

No. It was a wolf.

It took Nina a few seconds to realize, due to the massive size of the creature. It was more than twice the size of any wolf she’d even seen, even with the way its ribs were visible through the skin and thick fur. It almost looked as though each bone was straining to break through. The wolf was alone, and hungry. Its gaping maw held two rows of sharp, white teeth that widened as the creature let loose a bone-chilling snarl. In the few seconds it took Nina to inspect the wolf, it lunged for her.

Throwing every urge and instinct to the howling wind, Nina dropped her dagger and let the momentum of the attack throw her to the ground. She winced as the strong jaw took hold of her shoulder and the wolf twisted its head to dislodge some of the furs. Something pierced the skin closer to her chest and she closed her eyes as the pain radiated under her skin. 

The wolf stilled.

Nina dared to open her eyes. She tried to turn her head, but the wolf gave a warning growl. She stopped and swallowed thickly. It was a lot to hope for, a little too much to hope for. She’d wandered into the woods with the idea that maybe, just maybe, there was an _isenulf_ feeling every bit as hurt and heartsick as her, and maybe the ache inside her would lessen upon finding that wolf. _After almost two years alone, there’s no hope_ , a voice in her head had berated her, _but what if he’s alive_ another voice, soft and scared, whispered. That softer voice had somehow won out, and led her to these woods, where she felt stupid and hopeful in equal amounts. 

“Ajor,” she whispered. 

The wolf growled, quieter this time. 

After a few minutes of laying still and feeling hot blood escape from the wound in her shoulder, Nina gently lifted an arm and, when the creature stayed quiet, slowly let her hand fall on the wolf’s back. “Trassel,” she said, voice quavering, “I’ve come.”

A few more minutes passed. The wolf slowly let go of her shoulder and stepped away, still poised to attack, still weary. 

Nina moved slowly, reaching into her pack and pulling out one of the bars. She broke it in half, wincing as her shoulder trembled, and laid one half on the ground in front of the mighty wolf. She took a bite of her own half. 

The wolf sniffed at the bar curiously, then took the entire piece into his blood-stained mouth. After a few bites, he sat. Nina fed him two more full bars before cutting up one of her sleeping pelts and wrapping her wound. The wolf watched her silently with wise eyes. There was no doubt. 

“Trass,” Nina said, “shall we go?”

The wolf followed her back through the woods. At first, quite a length behind. Nina kept glancing over her shoulder worriedly, making sure he was still there. The wind kept trying to dislodge her makeshift bandage. As the world was darkening, Trass reached her side and bumped his head, quite hard, into the back of her thigh. Nina grumbled and reached for a snack, dusting off as much sugar as she could managed before feeding it to him. As they reached the edge of the woods, Nina slowled and bent down, taking a handful of snow into her gloves. Trass eyed her dubiously.

“I can’t very well take a blood-soaked wolf onto Killian’s boat now, can I?” Nina demanded. Trass didn’t answer her and fussed as she tried to clean him up. She gave up once his fur was pink instead of red. “You look a mess!” She complained as he scampered back into the woods. 

When she resumed walking, he was back at her side.

On the docks, Killian was knotting and unknotting a thick rope beneath a small torch for light. He didn’t look up when he heard the wood creak under a new set of feet. “We thought you were a lost–” he stopped when he saw her.

“Is that an _isenulf_?” Roëd yelled from the boat’s deck.

“Well, yes, just announce it to the whole village!” Nina sighed. “His name is Trassel.”

“Of course you’d leave us for three days to pick up a troublemaker.” Valstoy was leaning against the wooden railing, pretending not to be intrigued. He’s be peppering her with questions over the next few days. “Well, hurry up. Killian says there’s fish to be caught by the northern shores.”

“Uh, yeah.”

Nina bit back a laugh. Killian couldn’t tear his gaze away from the wolf. “Be careful, he bites,” she teased, hopping onto the boat. She felt Trass follow behind her. 

That night, she fell asleep in her closet room staring into two glowing, amber eyes. When she awoke sometime in the night, it was to a warmth at her back. She twisted, confused, and earned a growl of annoyance from Trass. She tentatively threaded a hand into the fur at his shoulder. He gave a giant huff, but didn’t seen perturbed. Nina left her hand there and closed her eyes, feeling the beginnings of tears form. She buried her face into white fur and quietly whispered an oath.

_Jer molle pe oonet. Enel mörd je nej afva trohem verret._


End file.
